it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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