yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
My vagina just recognized that song.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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