He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Semen is not good for contacts.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
