i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
where does the pee come out of this thing
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
