How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
