Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
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