conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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