I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
