People in love make me want to vomit
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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