Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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