he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
