I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Randomize
