Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
