genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
