I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
