ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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