You work out of a Hotel?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
