Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
