I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Randomize
