this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
