i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
