he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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