uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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