apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
