Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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