some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
