Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
