Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
