she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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