Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
