Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
