No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
