question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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