Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
