we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
