My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I skipped work to stalk him.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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