Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
