i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
