after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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