just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
