i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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