Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
