Rock
Scissors
Fuck
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
