I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
