Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
