Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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