I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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