New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
so let's talk penis.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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