They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
