the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
