I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
