it wasn't lemon gatorade
Come see our sink grown plant.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
