Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
